Me Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon boys are like slinkies...useless but fun to watch fall down stairs
←Rate | 04-28-2009 17:25 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna party like it's 1929.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 22:59 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why get stuck with the whole pig just for a little sausage?
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:34 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon just heard Miley Cyrus is releasing a new song and dedicating it to Perez's called "Party In The Cell Block A"......
←Rate | 06-18-2010 08:47 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Condoms are like newspapers....sure they are filled with good stuff today but you sure don't want them around tomorrow...
←Rate | 06-24-2010 22:20 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why everyone on facebook looks like they had a stroke I mean seriously that facial expression is stupid, and holding up the peace sign doesnt make you look any smarter.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 02:52 by me Comments (1)  

   messageicon Thinks facebook has ruined school reunions.. now everyone knows your full of sh*t before you get there..
←Rate | 09-10-2010 21:42 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the brave souls who lost their lives tragically 9 years ago today.. may you never be forgotten R.I.P
←Rate | 09-10-2010 22:24 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon salutes Dr. Seuss, who died today in 1991. Cats in hats, green eggs, Whoville? Thanks for the inspiration to take drugs!
←Rate | 09-24-2010 07:26 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon California is suspending executions due to lethal drug shortage. Someone should talk to Texas. I bet they're storing their surplus in caves.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 13:03 by me Comments (1)  

   messageicon I got an enema in honor of National Punctuation Day. I now have a perfect colon.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 13:03 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just invented a new candy called Mike and Ike and Tina. When you eat 'em, your front teeth fall out
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:57 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I see Renee Zellweger on screen I want to hand her an antihistamine.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:58 by me Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Porn Actor Kills Colleague With Prop Weapon." It was apparently not a banana in his pocket, nor was he happy to see him.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 17:03 by me Comments (1)  

   messageicon An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 22:37 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon RODEO SEX: while having sex call her the wrong name and try to hold on for 8 seconds
←Rate | 12-19-2010 15:30 by Me Comments (6)  

   messageicon Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music of the internet.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 13:33 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whats the differentce between A Jersey girl and a piece of trash? People pick up trash.
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:57 by ME Comments (0)  

   messageicon AT&T and T-Mobile are getting married, There will be no reception.
←Rate | 03-22-2011 09:26 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow I slept like an air traffic controller last night.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 14:43 by Me Comments (0)  


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