Jc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Growing old but never up
←Rate | 09-29-2008 23:00 by Jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Brett Favre would stop texting me photos of himself. The guy is getting out of control.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 13:59 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
←Rate | 09-07-2010 07:04 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
←Rate | 09-07-2010 07:11 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dad always tried to warn me that if I continued to play with the stapler while naked I would eventually be bored enough to try stapling things that should not be stapled. For well over 30 years I proved Dad wrong. Today, however, he was finally right.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 16:39 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon at Office Depot wearing a raincoat looking for a staple remover.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 16:41 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got stone cold case of the muchies so bad that I'm eating Macaroni and Cheese straight out of the box and chasing it with a glass of milk and butter. So good! I'm tempted to try snorting that powdered cheesy goodness for ultimate processed food high.
←Rate | 09-19-2010 11:43 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your proctologist called. He found your head.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 10:17 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kid has A.D.D. and a couple of F's.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 11:16 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse.
←Rate | 09-20-2010 11:40 by JC Comments (6)  


   messageicon You can't get on your feet until you get off your ass.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 09:34 by JC Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 09:36 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes to sit in the pharmacy on my phone talking about how I have a contagious rash on 90% of my body and the Dr. can't find a medicine that works!
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:22 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, "Don't eat me." Now there's an empty plate and a note, Don't tell me what to do.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:23 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon The man in front of me is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life, he wishes she sent him for tampons
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:24 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am definitely spending too much time on this here internet thing. Today some rude dude bumped into me and I said to him out loud, "Double-you Tee Eff?!"
←Rate | 11-29-2010 10:38 by JC Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 09:51 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I heard that song where the dogs bark Jingle Bells. I must admit those are some pretty talented canines. I've been working on that song with my dog for two years straight and he still gets mixed up during the third verse. He's not the brightest.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 10:29 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an optimist and Windows 8 will be my idea.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 09:58 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Windows 7 is my idea, why the heck do I have to pay for it?
←Rate | 12-13-2010 09:58 by JC Comments (0)  



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