Downey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon they make veggie meatloaf?.... Yeah, better wash that down with a warm O'douls
←Rate | 02-19-2011 23:44 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon whats the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered womens shelter? The dishes if she knows what good for her!
←Rate | 02-20-2011 09:30 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently started to grow a beard, and I gotta tell ya... I feel way cooler already
←Rate | 02-20-2011 22:11 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Music now a days sucks....Jim Morrison, dead; Kurt Cobain, dead; Biggie, dead; Justin Beiber, healthy as a god damn mule!
←Rate | 03-25-2011 19:12 by downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gonna get a softball team going and name ourselves "off constantly". That way if we lose a game, we could still have the satisfaction of listening our opponents try to brag about beating off constantly..
←Rate | 04-03-2011 10:05 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..that WINNING but than instant LOSER feeling you get when a girl sends you a sexy pic, and you look at the message details only to find that their are 9 other numbers above yours...awkward...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:29 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say good things come to those who wait, so it looks like ima be bout an hour late ;)
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:43 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not a proctologist...but I know an A**HOLE when I see one
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:16 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ask me about our "blowj*bs for drinks program"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:29 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon 3 man code violations to report this week..1) seen a guy drinkin a can a diet pepsi with a straw 2) heard that two guys rode to work together on the same motorcycle 3) seen a guy driving a mini van with a doo rag on
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:36 by Downey Comments (1)  

   messageicon it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting them.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 12:37 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Gain, You need to come up with a laundry soap that will wash the disappointment out of my sheets after a regretful one night stand.. Work on that. Sincerly, Every Guy in America
←Rate | 05-19-2011 14:44 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon that awkward moment when she catches you trying to take a pic of her, and you have to pretend to be texting someone...
←Rate | 05-19-2011 15:39 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 01:15 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Tiger Woods and Jesse James are back to dating already, then I don't see any reason why Michael Vick can't get another puppy.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:13 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I watch truTV and CSI so much that I even wipe my fingerprints off the remote after I turn off the TV.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 03:10 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got a flannel shirt for the 9th Fathers Day in a row... Thanks honey, cant wait to see what you get me next year!
←Rate | 06-19-2011 14:57 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to the store and got me some Oreo's. As I was walking back to my car I saw a friend who told me that it was his birthday for the 1st time ever, without being sarcastic, I was able to say "What...Do you want a cookie or something?"
←Rate | 06-20-2011 21:19 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon my phone automatically wants to check me into every bar we pass? I guess this think really is a smartphone
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:27 by Downey Comments (0)  

   messageicon next time you go through the drive-thru at McD, order a burger and say "can you please hold the pickle" in a sexy voice... trust me, it's worth it!
←Rate | 07-29-2011 22:14 by Downey Comments (0)  


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