Brades Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
←Rate | 10-14-2009 17:49 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon 27 Championships. Too bad the Yankees can't also buy the respect of players, owners, and fans of MLB.
←Rate | 11-05-2009 09:03 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon says I've Got Nothing Against Mohammed or Allah...It's His Fan Club I Can't Stand
←Rate | 11-09-2009 08:56 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 09:03 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:00 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:01 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 16:50 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a natural disaster in Haiti for the US government to step up and donate money and aid and go above and beyond to offer assiatnce. Yet, they are too incompetent to do the same thing in our own country.
←Rate | 01-16-2010 00:28 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Announcing that your parents used to be cool hippies who went to Woodstock is probably not only a lie, but it also does not change the fact that they have a loser for a child.
←Rate | 03-09-2010 14:36 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vegans are secretly just anorexics trying to disguise it under a hippy guise of nutrition and compassion.
←Rate | 03-13-2010 11:05 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer goggles don't exist…you knew what she looked like, but also figured you could get away with it because of all the shots of tequila you'd had.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:25 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 10:05 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
←Rate | 04-03-2010 17:53 by Brades Comments (2)  


   messageicon If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? America!
←Rate | 04-03-2010 17:54 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to write a meaningful new Facebook status update, filled with deep, thoughtful sentiments, but screw that.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 09:52 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon just did a shot of wheatgrass* and now I'm off to the gym**! (*=bourbon, **=pub)
←Rate | 04-12-2010 09:52 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes I had a stunt double to get me through the rest of this day.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 21:24 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to thank Facebook for reacquainting me not just with old friends but also with people I never liked much in the past and for reminding me why in the present.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 21:25 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Women are made to be loved, not understood." - Oscar Wilde
←Rate | 04-12-2010 21:26 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't want you to call me lazy until you've walked a couple of steps in my flip-flops.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 11:32 by Brades Comments (0)  



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