Badd status Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm 31 years old and never married. How come it seems like every married person I know wishes their marriage license has an expiration date?
←Rate | 09-21-2010 22:05 by Badd Status Comments (1)  


   messageicon A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:34 by Badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday we'll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:38 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why ask me if I'm up when you text me at 3 in the morning and I answer it?
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon WANTED: Hoarder to come and gather up all my random sh%t and drag it back to their hoarding lair.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:41 by badd status Comments (1)  


   messageicon whoever decides when breakfast is over at McDonald's, F*CK YOU.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:43 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that I will be a team player when I get paid like a pro athlete.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:48 by badd status Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:19 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grumpy old man: "You need to pick up after your dog." Me: "It's pee! If you want to grab a straw and suck it up, be my guest."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:21 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's my kind of bar when the bathroom door has a sign that says: "No couples. One at a time."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:24 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope that my last words in this world are: "I wonder what this does..."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:26 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook has been down for 2 hours. The apocalypse has begun.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:56 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so happy Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:57 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching this show on stalkers, still haven't seen any of you yet.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:59 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I'll say next.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 17:01 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chances are if you're using a pay phone, sh*t's not going well.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 18:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to know what's bad for me and young enough to do it.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:36 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon They have tracking on Facebook so your family and friends know where you are? If I wanted them to know where I was I would answer my phone.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:39 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Logging off Facebook is like trying to get away from the bar. It's always, "I'll just have one more..."
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone else noticed that mirrors look really sexy?
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:41 by badd status Comments (0)  



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