huck Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
←Rate | 07-16-2017 07:15 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Social media is perfect when you're feeling sorry for yourself and your desire is to feel worse.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 17:52 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
←Rate | 01-23-2016 06:49 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Based on how I react when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 12:57 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon How long do I need to be in therapy before I forget the time in gym class when I was hit in the stomach with a dodge ball and farted?
←Rate | 09-03-2014 10:29 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 05:32 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don't know the man & he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn
←Rate | 08-02-2013 06:03 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
←Rate | 12-30-2013 07:27 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider's web.
←Rate | 09-03-2012 07:58 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 05:28 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone's gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves
←Rate | 12-28-2013 06:57 by Huck Comments (2)  

   messageicon When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
←Rate | 08-22-2013 05:36 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am the undefeated champion of this"smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don't-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day" game
←Rate | 09-06-2012 10:19 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking
←Rate | 04-30-2014 06:49 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I can't even jog my memory without breaking a sweat.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:12 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Cowboys just signed a "No Super Bowl for six more years" contract today
←Rate | 03-30-2013 07:55 by Huck Comments (0)  

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