Snotty Funny Status Messages
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If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats... Then go look at Facebook for about 5 minutes.
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08-04-2016 22:01 by Snotty
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Anti-wrinkle cream takes all the creases off your face and puts them on Tommy Lee Jones.
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05-18-2017 15:18 by snotty
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My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.
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08-01-2017 07:33 by snotty
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Who needs conspiracy theories when reality is crazy enough lately. .. ugh
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06-04-2017 16:59 by snotty
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In China it's considered bad luck to be eaten by a lion.
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02-26-2016 23:16 by Snotty
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It's finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
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04-22-2017 19:02 by snotty
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Wow. Hard to believe in only a month my wife and daughters will be returning the gifts I bought them.
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11-27-2013 19:06 by snotty
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It’s funny how watching your kids get older is both the best and the worst thing ever
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05-18-2013 18:55 by snotty
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Sure,, Sure,, I could kill you with kindness,, but let’s see what else is just lying around I can use first.
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01-13-2017 15:40 by snotty
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I wonder if Captain America ever borrows money from Captain China
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02-23-2012 16:14 by snotty
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I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
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12-03-2012 09:54 by snotty
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I'm so tired,,, United Airlines just tried to charge me $25 for the bags under my eyes.
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08-24-2016 20:30 by Snotty
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Apparently the drunk guy at the urinal next to me is under the impression that I was stung in the leg by a jellyfish.
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05-25-2017 23:33 by snotty
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And when I die, this will all be yours...... *points to plastic bags filled with other plastic bags
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08-17-2016 23:29 by Snotty
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I saw that veterans got a free meal at Golden Corral on Veterans Day. Why?... Haven't those poor guys been through enough?
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11-24-2014 12:22 by snotty
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Hey,, When I was young I had to Post stuff manually... Barefoot in the snow,,, uphill both ways....... And I was GRATEFULL
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04-07-2012 08:03 by snotty
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I predict Peppermint Patty invites herself and her friends over to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving again this year
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11-23-2011 13:29 by Snotty
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Teen at Starbucks asked if I could take her selfie. I said that would just be a photo.... She's still blinking at me.
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05-25-2015 12:14 by snotty
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Everytime this post is liked,, a Member of Congress gets kicked in the genitals.
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10-04-2013 16:23 by snotty
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I find it highly suspicious that the three bears had the dexterity to buy furniture and make porridge in the first place.
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04-16-2013 19:43 by snotty
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