Dopey420 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why does the 30 minutes before work go by so fast, causing me to be late. But the last 30 minutes go by slow, causing me to be pissed off.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 21:47 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should make a more honest name for 16 and Pregnant. Stupid Little Girls sounds good to me.
←Rate | 01-19-2011 10:46 by Dopey420 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Hey youtubers, if your clip wasn't funny the first time around chances are reshowing it in slow mo isn't going to make it any funnier.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 08:55 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms
←Rate | 02-12-2011 17:09 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
←Rate | 01-27-2011 07:25 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's six inches long, two and a half inches wide, and drives women wild?................................. Money
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:16 by Dopey420 Comments (4)  


   messageicon When I'm at a bar I aways look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:45 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 22:58 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
←Rate | 01-25-2011 16:22 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?
←Rate | 01-30-2011 00:57 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a b!tch.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:26 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mirrors don't talk, but lucky for you they don't laugh either
←Rate | 01-26-2011 09:54 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby,baby,baby ooh!" Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to justin bieber AGAIN..? Daughter: No I'm watchin PORN... Mom: Oh thank God
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:18 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:33 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
←Rate | 01-20-2011 09:57 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 06:46 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 20:50 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bill Clinton was recently seen smoking a pipe. When asked why he wasn't smoking a cigar he said, ''Cigars are for pu**ies." Clinton rules!
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:07 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean." Hard of hearing the man says "come again?" She replies, "no mustard."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 18:51 by Dopey420 Comments (4)  



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