Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 21:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should’ve tried domesticating bears 10,000 years ago. We really missed the mark with that one. Could be cuddled up with a bear right about now, but whatever.
←Rate | 01-09-2023 03:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like staying home, because as soon as I step outside, I spend $100.00
←Rate | 01-08-2023 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?
←Rate | 01-19-2023 04:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can put whatever you want on a “to do” list, there are no rules. I put wake up and drink coffee on mine. Already knocked two things off my list and it’s not even lunch time yet. God, I’m good.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 02:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don’t like being treated the way that you treat others? That must really suck.
←Rate | 01-19-2023 04:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re telling the world you fear what he might say.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reach ~ as high as you can, and then a little higher. There you will find magic and possibility… and maybe even cookies.
←Rate | 05-12-2022 01:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.
←Rate | 06-09-2022 23:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello, 911? The oldies station is playing the Backstreet Boys again.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 18:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They said, “Californy is the place we gotta flee,” so they loaded up the truck and moved back to Tennessee.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor Doggo: “Hmmm…. I see. Have you tried barking at nothing? That might help.”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You technically have 2 minutes to live, but every time you breathe it restarts the timer.
←Rate | 07-01-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m like an avocado, I’m only pleasant for a short period of time and it’s up to you to figure out when that is.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Why is your back all scratched up? (flashback to me chasing a racoon after she told me to leave it alone) Me: I’m having an affair.
←Rate | 06-30-2022 01:04 Comments (0)  




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