Rick Funny Status Messages

   I wish for once they'd kill that Harry Potter.

   After seeing Iggy Pop perform on American Idol, Steven Tyler is probably thinking I'm going home and eating a sandwich.

   Homeland security says the informat they have is a good source. Sounds to me the source may be part of the problem.

   Every year at this time I question who decided this Halloween candy is the "Fun" size. These people must really live a boring existence.

   Are you tired of being fat and ugly?..just stay ugly and join the gym !!

   Mars rover "Curiousity" has landed and less an hour later, something has stole 2 rims off of it...

   If elected President, I would give out free window tint to all those people who sit at traffic lights and insist on picking their nose..

   Smoke alarms going off. Guess the wife's cooking is done...

   If you are undecided, vote for the one you would most likely buy a used car from.

   With the rush to run out and stock up on Twinkee's, I've invested my money this morning into insulin. Who's a thinking?

   Why is it as a grown man living in your own home you cannot touch those "special" pillows on the couch, but those grandkids can come over and toss them everywhere and its cute?

   Will trade AR-15 for nice Corvette....

   I honestly never believed that whole story about Lance Armstrong walking on the moon.

   Now that Lance has come clean, I guess he's qualified to run for election in the House or Senate..

   Now that Lance has come clean, maybe he's qualified to be elected to the House or Senate..

   Just found out my Homeowner's Insurance policy does not have adequate roof coverage that covers Meteors. It never ends.....

   This just enforces the belief that people with mullets should not be raising children.

   I am thankful for bean dip. The wife is thankful for air-freshener.

   I'm sure the sale of duck calls to the gay community will be on the decline...

   Duck Commander releases new pen*s shape duck call just in time for the holidays.