Merry Christmas - Funny Status Messages
Posted by TJ on Tuesday December 24, 2013 @ 05:20 PM
[Tags: toplist, humor, status]

Below are some funny status messages or tweets related to Santa, Christmas, gifts, and the holidays. http://tjshome.com/statusmessages.php
  1. 142593 X I went to Jared for my girlfriend's Christmas gift. I'm sure she will love her Subway gift card. Submitted: 12-23-2013 10:42
  2. 82728 On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, Submitted: 12-12-2011 07:08
  3. 142296 X says The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour... Submitted: 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF
  4. 77352 X Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year. Submitted: 10-29-2011 14:39 by K-Mac
  5. 119550 X says I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers. Submitted: 12-19-2012 01:28
  6. 82560 X says When cats and dogs finally rise up against us, the first thing they'll do is strap Santa hats to our heads and take pictures. Submitted: 12-10-2011 06:02 by flinnie
  7. 84179 X says if you feel sad, remember: There are people out there right now buying last-minute Christmas presents for their cats. Submitted: 12-22-2011 08:52 by flinnie
  8. 84733 X Kids complaining they didn't get an iPhone for Christmas or got one in the wrong color is exactly why other countries hate us. Submitted: 12-26-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi
  9. 40908 X I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-( Submitted: 12-24-2010 16:41
  10. 39692 X I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors. Submitted: 12-13-2010 00:19
  11. 122445 X says To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today. Submitted: 01-24-2013 06:29 by Stan Brown
  12. 40465 X No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber. Submitted: 12-20-2010 14:04 by lemonpillow
  13. 81389 X Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh..nvm , I'll buy my own gifts....... Submitted: 11-30-2011 09:24 by sully
  14. 80477 X If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause Submitted: 11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1
  15. 81277 X is I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by switching to single Submitted: 11-29-2011 20:35
  16. 38622 X is trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened. Submitted: 12-02-2010 07:16
  17. 119367 X is Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it. Submitted: 12-16-2012 20:19 by StonerDudee
  18. 119565 X The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then. Submitted: 12-19-2012 07:16 by Marshall the Great
  19. 84592 X is I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas. Submitted: 12-25-2011 14:42
  20. 33908 X All I want for Christmas, is to keep the things I've got. Submitted: 10-13-2010 08:37 by Marshall the Great
  21. 80808 X says The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs. Submitted: 11-25-2011 16:00
  22. 41364 X is trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas. Submitted: 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241
  23. 118701 X says I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me 'Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, 'No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!' Submitted: 12-19-2013 11:19 by EF
  24. 40583 X An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures. Submitted: 12-21-2010 15:17 by lemonpillow
  25. 76964 X is I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie. Submitted: 10-26-2011 17:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able
  26. 141924 X says I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one! Submitted: 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF
  27. 119942 X says I snuck in my neighbor's house last night and ate up all their Christmas cookies. This secret Santa thing isn't so bad after all. Submitted: 12-23-2012 07:20 by flinnie
  28. 84898 X hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine. Submitted: 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert
  29. 83779 X Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift. Submitted: 12-19-2011 11:10 by @dj_soltrix
  30. 142065 X says It would be so much more ''festive" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season Submitted: 12-14-2013 22:58 by EF
  31. 140992 X says Its that time of the year where the work office decides to do secret santa again and this time its under $25....I'm getting my co-worker a pack tooth brush with about $30 worth of tooth paste! Submitted: 11-25-2013 18:47 by jitney
  32. 80126 X says Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr.... Submitted: 11-19-2011 13:14 by Dave
  33. 39382 X has Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :) Submitted: 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign
  34. 9127 X Anyone caught singing Christmas carols between now and Thanksgiving will be slapped. Submitted: 11-10-2009 17:51 by BarryClark@twitter.com
  35. 30787 X I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa? Submitted: 09-05-2010 20:25
  36. 117899 X Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says "Help, need ride!" Submitted: 11-26-2012 10:34 by MWC
  37. 118356 X I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas." Submitted: 12-03-2012 09:54 by snotty
  38. 32145 X showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts. Submitted: 09-23-2010 09:35 by dragon-king
  39. 81895 X Sooo, the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need? Now that's the Christmas spirit! Submitted: 12-04-2011 14:38
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