Baddie Funny Status Messages

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Page: 9 of 15

   messageicon You'd think the liquor store cashier could at least PRETEND not to recognize me.
←Rate | 07-17-2013 12:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
←Rate | 07-13-2013 06:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A part of me wants to go to the gym and the other part of me is a liar.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 13:24 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when strangers say silly things like, "I don't bite" Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is "OMG! This b!tch is gonna bite me!"
←Rate | 02-25-2012 10:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "used to get kicked off the internet when the house phone rang" years old.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 02:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently going to coffee with your friends and coming back drunk is frown upon by management .
←Rate | 07-17-2013 12:51 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
←Rate | 10-31-2015 10:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst thing about spanking a kid in Wal-Mart is that I have no idea who's kid this is.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 14:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won't be enough.
←Rate | 08-09-2013 13:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like a good neighbor,I don't really care.
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has science explained why you have to walk around the house when on the phone?
←Rate | 10-06-2014 02:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just drank a whole pot of coffee and now I can stutter in sign language.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching this cool nature show about a bunch of apes who think they can sing. It's called "Glee" or something.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 11:06 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I dammit.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 13:42 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know if you watch Twilight backwards, it's still sh!t?
←Rate | 04-23-2012 14:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Co-worker keeps asking me what's wrong so I told her I'm irritated because some idiot won't quit asking me what's wrong.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 14:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think sleeping with your girlfriend’s best friend will piss her off then you obviously haven’t tried hiding one of her shoes.
←Rate | 07-05-2013 01:51 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ran into the girl who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 02:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Knock, knock. Honey, have you finished taking pictures of yourself for facebook? Daddy needs to take a sh!t.
←Rate | 04-04-2012 13:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
←Rate | 12-13-2014 07:32 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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