Migasjoe Funny Status Messages

   Money can't buy you happiness but I'd rather be unhappy and in a Bentley

   need to check my wifes license...apparently she changed her name to Princess without telling me

   the art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook!!!

   Got a copy of The Christmas Story today...I was surprised they edited the DVD down to 96 minutes...I always enjoyed the 24 hour version of the movie

   There have been more sharknadoes under President Obama than any other President...

   if ignorance is bliss then there are a sh#t load of people in paradise

   there are two types of people in the world; Those who know how to handle stress and those who need bail money

   (last one I promise) - LaBron James will publish his autobiography as soon as he can come up with a TITLE

   told my son he should drink plenty of electrolytes in this heat, he responded by asking me if I drink beer for the electrolytes

   i'm not a vegetarian but I eat animals that are

   The main difference between fiction and reality, is that fiction has to make sense.

   There are two types of women - one with perfect make-up, great hair, sexy clothing, fresh nail polish, and incredible shoes . . . and one with kids!

   your greatest "Hello" and your hardest "Goodbye"

   DIET= Do I Eat That...

   I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter's date. ..then I told him it's much faster after 11pm

   if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything

   Like nature and opportunities, when booty calls...I answer

   attention Hot Women of Vegas...if you insist on wearing skinny, hot women clothes while visiting, please make sure you are, in fact, a skiiny, hot girl!!!

   time for those homeless people with will work for food signs to grab a shovel

   Warning – Dates in calendars are much closer than they appear.