Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon All of the mosquitos in my yard just received the Moderna vaccine.
←Rate | 07-07-2021 02:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When the quarantine lasts longer than expected and your cousin starts looking extra thick.
←Rate | 08-29-2021 01:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We live in a time where smart people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
←Rate | 06-15-2021 03:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon CDC just announced dudes can stop wearing skinny jeans.
←Rate | 06-06-2021 04:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How many times do you have to click “I accept cookies” before they send you the cookies?
←Rate | 05-27-2021 07:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.
←Rate | 09-15-2021 01:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon That’s a horrible idea. What time?
←Rate | 06-07-2021 10:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me, twenty minutes after the edible kicks in: I don’t think Donkey Kong was even a donkey
←Rate | 09-13-2021 10:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it isn't broken, fix it until it is. 🛠
←Rate | 09-05-2021 19:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best way to surprise your partner in bed is by dying in your sleep.
←Rate | 07-03-2021 05:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The most blatant way to flaunt wealth, is to shoot a box of ammo at a plywood target.
←Rate | 06-06-2021 04:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get their little legs apart?
←Rate | 06-15-2021 02:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
←Rate | 07-12-2020 09:10 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Protesters should step their game up and start blocking railroad crossings.
←Rate | 06-07-2021 03:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder when the CDC will recommend closing the southern border.
←Rate | 08-02-2021 05:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To defeat the latest variant, experts recommend doing all the things that didn’t work the first time.
←Rate | 07-28-2021 03:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My therapist told me I need to take the time to find myself. Took me all of 5 minutes. There was a mirror in the bathroom. Who's the smart one now Doc?
←Rate | 04-06-2021 19:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A guy limps into Dairy Queen and orders a strawberry sundae. The cashier asks, “crushed nuts?” and the guy says, “no, it’s just my bad knee.”
←Rate | 05-27-2021 23:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Elon Musk" sounds like a new fragrance from Pierre Cardin.
←Rate | 05-27-2021 06:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If lost in the woods, build a shelter. The tax man will be there shortly.
←Rate | 05-28-2021 02:02 Comments (0)  

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