Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Too bad there isn't an option to hear the next five seconds after someone hits end on a call. Make no mistake that is when the truth comes out.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 20:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said "nothing is impossible" has obviously never seen me doing nothing.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 08:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know this is short notice, but does anyone have a bear costume I can borrow to scare the people camped outside Best Buy for Black Friday?
←Rate | 11-23-2016 11:44 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Falcons won the popular Vote!
←Rate | 02-05-2017 23:00 by davidster2002 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 19:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would you schedule a vote on a bill that is at 17% approval? Have we forgotten everything Reagan taught us?
←Rate | 03-24-2017 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The scariest words a man can ever hear from a woman are "Notice anything different?"
←Rate | 02-23-2020 09:13 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the pigeons be like where the eff is everyone??
←Rate | 04-01-2020 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body absorbed so much hand sanitizer that when I pee it cleans the toilet...
←Rate | 04-22-2020 17:13 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pokemon GO has done more for child obesity in the last 24 hours than Michelle Obama has in the past 8 years.
←Rate | 07-11-2016 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still doubt Bernie Sanders will ever get elected for president in 2016. But his coleslaw and boneless wings get my vote every time.
←Rate | 08-30-2016 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm OK with the French beach laws,, but the KKK shouldn't be allowed to wear their burkas either... *Ya know,, fairness
←Rate | 09-02-2016 10:35 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Besides illegal immigrants, Hillary also has a lot of supporters that died along time ago.
←Rate | 09-09-2016 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gary Johnson is now claiming he can see Aleppo from Sarah Palin's porch.
←Rate | 09-11-2016 04:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon did anyone ever find out what The Rock was cooking? I always hoped it was bacon
←Rate | 09-12-2016 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Props to Jon Bon Jovi for continuing to keep up with the hairstyles of women his age.
←Rate | 10-19-2016 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bar waitress: "ANYONE KNOW CPR?!"... Me: "Hell, I know the entire alphabet!"... Then everyone laughed & laughed. Well, except that one guy.
←Rate | 10-22-2016 19:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re careful, you can eat an entire rack of ribs while taking a shower.
←Rate | 10-28-2020 07:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marine biologists are just like regular biologists, only they have to do 20 push-ups after every experiment.
←Rate | 11-11-2020 13:22 Comments (0)  



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