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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Too bad there isn't an option to hear the next five seconds after someone hits end on a call. Make no mistake that is when the truth comes out.
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11-24-2010 20:10 by
Marshall the Great
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Whoever said "nothing is impossible" has obviously never seen me doing nothing.
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12-04-2010 08:08 by
Marshall the Great
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I know this is short notice, but does anyone have a bear costume I can borrow to scare the people camped outside Best Buy for Black Friday?
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11-23-2016 11:44 by
Gripenfelter
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I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.
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01-13-2017 08:43
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The Falcons won the popular Vote!
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02-05-2017 23:00 by
davidster2002
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Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
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03-22-2017 19:45
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Why would you schedule a vote on a bill that is at 17% approval? Have we forgotten everything Reagan taught us?
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03-24-2017 14:58
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The scariest words a man can ever hear from a woman are "Notice anything different?"
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02-23-2020 09:13 by
Moon
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All the pigeons be like where the eff is everyone??
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04-01-2020 20:57
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My body absorbed so much hand sanitizer that when I pee it cleans the toilet...
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04-22-2020 17:13 by
Gabe
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Pokemon GO has done more for child obesity in the last 24 hours than Michelle Obama has in the past 8 years.
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07-11-2016 15:39
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Still doubt Bernie Sanders will ever get elected for president in 2016. But his coleslaw and boneless wings get my vote every time.
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08-30-2016 15:17
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I'm OK with the French beach laws,, but the KKK shouldn't be allowed to wear their burkas either... *Ya know,, fairness
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09-02-2016 10:35 by
Snotty
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Besides illegal immigrants, Hillary also has a lot of supporters that died along time ago.
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09-09-2016 15:40
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Gary Johnson is now claiming he can see Aleppo from Sarah Palin's porch.
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09-11-2016 04:52
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did anyone ever find out what The Rock was cooking? I always hoped it was bacon
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09-12-2016 11:36
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Props to Jon Bon Jovi for continuing to keep up with the hairstyles of women his age.
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10-19-2016 06:05
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Bar waitress: "ANYONE KNOW CPR?!"... Me: "Hell, I know the entire alphabet!"... Then everyone laughed & laughed. Well, except that one guy.
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10-22-2016 19:28 by
snotty
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If you’re careful, you can eat an entire rack of ribs while taking a shower.
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10-28-2020 07:52
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Marine biologists are just like regular biologists, only they have to do 20 push-ups after every experiment.
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11-11-2020 13:22
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