Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!

   It's easier to fall asleep in class than in my bed at home.

   Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

   Dreamed I fell asleep at work and it freaked me out when I woke up there

   Love with no expectations in return and you will know how to love yourself more than anyone could in this screwed up world.

   For a change I'd like to meet someone who could be my potential soulmate and who is not halfway across the world.

   There's hungry and there's hungry enough to eat microwaved french fries hungry...

   so a pony doesn't grow into a horse?

   I would probably buy the iPhone5 if it kept me from drunk dialing my exes.

   wore lowrise jeans in her 20s to show off her figure. Now I wear them with a large hoodie so that I have more gut room when I go to Chilis.

   tipped her wine glass and her swine flu everywhere

   knows where Carmen San Diego is but is sworn to secrecy

   tying your shoes together

   says his ambition in life is to turn no into yes!

   thinking - No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

   found Waldo!

   knows your jealous because the voices are talking to him and not you.

   eaten so many mini Eggs, that thinks a mini chicken is coming out of her belly!!

   Mirror Mirror On the wall, Who has the Meanest Swagga of them All?

   I guess having voices in your head isn't so bad if it's James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman.