Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
All women have at least one pair of jeans in their closet that's trying to kill them. 
In order to raise awareness of Alzheimer's Disease, I will be randomly deleting people from my facebook.
A friend got mugged coming out of K-Mart and is devastated. I feel the same way because I had no idea I knew people that shopped there.
Your third grade spelling is what really made me laugh!
She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
O Lord, give me the superpowers to change the things I cannot accept with serenity. ....Amen.
If there are more guys than girls in a Zumba class, then "Zumba" is just a code word.
Remember the theme song from the Adams family?.. trust me, you will all day ;) dabba-da-bump *snap*snap
Drinking a fifth on the fourth
Pepper spray and a restraining order just takes all of the romance out of the relationship.
I've had a long day. The last thing I need is brown lettuce in my salad
I'm going to take you to the cleaners... After that, the bank & grocery store. Then possibly Arby's? It's totally up to you
If you love someone, let them go, if it's me, I'm never coming back.
If I was looking to hire a psychic, the only question in my interview would be,,"How many times have you won the lottery?"
Damn it. I wanted to be the next Batman......
1999, people said "Britney Spears is a bad role model for young girls." 2013 the young girls are grown up. Their name is Miley Cyrus.
Sex is like cooking. Your girlfriend will be angry at you because you ate your neighbour’s even though she hasn’t cooked for you in weeks.
When you say lazy, you mean regular lazy or Wolverine lazy? THAT MAN HAS BLADES IN HIS FREAKING KNUCKLES AND STILL DOESN'T SHAVE REGULARLY!
The only person who thinks I'm amazing just the way I am is Bruno Mars :(
Rihanna likes her beer like she likes her violence, domestic!
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
