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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
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08-24-2017 23:24 by
Kisstopher707
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In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
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12-21-2018 09:34 by
Kisstopher707
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Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.
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02-04-2019 08:34 by
Kisstopher707
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My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
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04-19-2018 01:48 by
Kisstopher707
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The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
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10-22-2017 06:06 by
Kisstopher707
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Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
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04-27-2018 14:17 by
Kisstopher707
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Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
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06-28-2018 02:11 by
Kisstopher707
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There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
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10-28-2017 07:20 by
Kisstopher707
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Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
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05-28-2018 23:26 by
Kisstopher707
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I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'll even remove your duct tape.
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07-27-2018 12:18 by
Kisstopher707
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I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
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12-13-2018 13:11 by
Kisstopher707
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What do people who send out family Christmas cards want from us?
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12-16-2018 09:35 by
Kisstopher707
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My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING????
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12-16-2018 09:44 by
Kisstopher707
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What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.
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08-23-2013 01:25 by
Kisstopher707
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Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
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12-11-2013 13:21 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
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01-10-2017 08:57 by
Kisstopher707
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So what are we being offended by today? Sorry I missed the morning briefing.
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12-17-2018 14:26 by
Kisstopher707
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1
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My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
86
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12-15-2014 08:03 by
Kisstopher707
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Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day
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05-31-2013 08:12 by
Kisstopher707
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My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
57
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11-03-2014 06:23 by
Kisstopher707
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