Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Health plans are like hospital gowns…You only think you're covered.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 16:21 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon ___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''
←Rate | 10-20-2009 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in a relationship with Nancy Pelosi. I figure she has been screwing me for 4 years now; I might as well make it official.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 12:00 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Answered the door today and a giant grasshopper spit in my face and kicked me hard in the shin , I phoned my doctor and he said not to worry , there was a really nasty bug going around
←Rate | 12-09-2010 09:33 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I left my cross-eyed girlfriend today. The b*tch was seeing someone else.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:09 by lemonpillow Comments (10)  


   messageicon I quess Kate Steinle didn't look enough like Obama's daughters for him to give a damn about her.
←Rate | 07-11-2015 20:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon above the influence.
←Rate | 12-02-2008 20:06 by Me! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey republican..ssshhhh....you had me at "common sense"
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lord thankyou for these noodles i'm about to eat, ramen
←Rate | 02-07-2013 20:06 by truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.
←Rate | 04-22-2013 13:12 Comments (4)  


   messageicon wonders if it's ironic that I have facebook open in another tab.....you do to dont you
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:01 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
←Rate | 03-02-2010 22:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd also like to learn how to spell GIANT one of these days
←Rate | 12-02-2010 06:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry NBA players, Kim Kardashian will let you slam balls in her hole!
←Rate | 11-14-2011 15:50 by Pig Benis Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK. So we tortured a bunch of terrorists. Big Whoop. How many of us have they killed?
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... Naw ... Blinded by the light ... Revved up like a deuce ..... Another runner in the night .... Yup, Bet that cuts the odds a bit.
←Rate | 05-14-2014 20:58 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some people seem to read the Bible a lot as they get older. Maybe they think they're cramming for their finals.
←Rate | 03-10-2011 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barack Obama will now use this convenient news of killing of Osama Bin Laden as his biggest selling point to the voters for the 2012 Presidential Election. "Under my watch, we took down Bin Laden..."
←Rate | 05-01-2011 23:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ooh lookie my mood ring is a beautiful shade of I dont give a crap
←Rate | 05-05-2011 21:57 by shoesan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people sing to plants to help them grow. That's one reason I scream at the top of my lungs the entire time I mow.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 16:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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