Ef-Az-Zzee Funny Status Messages

   LGBTQ = Let's Get Biden To Quit

   Some days you're the turd; some days you're the fly. I'm both every day. - Joe Biden

   The good news regarding climate change: It'll eventually kiII off the Winter Olympics.

   Joe Biden: You know I properly planned my day when I can squeeze in that 3rd nap.

   I know there's definitely something wrong with me when I care more about someone getting a BJ in the Oval Office than violations of the constitution and abuse of office.

   When I was a kid, the term "gaslighting" didn't involve playing mind games. It involved a Bic lighter and farting.

   It's amazing how one transgender can trigger so much hate and ignorance. Like honestly, how are people like that affecting your lives?

   Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles are 50 years old. The first WOKE cereals ever.

   I never realized that the toilet was a good way to get rid of the evidence.

   Fuel prices are so high under the Biden administration, he is now suggesting we fart on our wallets for gas money.

   RIP Bob Saget: A comic whose stand-up routine was basically a 9 year old who discovered you can say curse words when your parents aren't around.

   I'm working a double shift tomorrow at a restaurant lounge. Since it'll be Valentine's Day, I'm putting a fake engagement ring in every woman's drink who's there with a date.

   My dream funeral would include me bring buried, wrapped in the confederate flag. Can't get more patriotic than that.

   I'm so dumb, I thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

   I'm so dumb, when the bartender said "drinks on the house," I got a ladder.

   Brace yourselves. Here come all the imbeciles to remind us that Veterans Day is for the living and Memorial Day is for the deceased.

   The imbecile underneath this couldn't come up with a clever retort, so he stood on my shoulders and a f00l of himself in the process.

   I took lessons from a half-wit and held onto it all.