Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dating is like trying on shoes. You think you found a good fit, but it begins to hurt after a little while.
←Rate | 09-03-2022 10:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soft tacos are just tiny burritos with a sun roof.
←Rate | 08-25-2022 07:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women like I like my peanut butter... chunky.
←Rate | 08-06-2022 10:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should sell liver sandwiches at baseball games to complete the misery of the entire experience.
←Rate | 07-16-2022 02:10 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cruises: Like being on house arrest with midnight buffets.
←Rate | 09-26-2021 16:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that summer's over, I'd like to suggest to the ladies (and guys from Canada) that next year, unless you have a rear end made of perfectly sculpted stone, don't wear a thong.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 11:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 09:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
←Rate | 07-21-2017 10:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 19:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."
←Rate | 02-18-2017 14:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything from social media, it's that we live on a planet that's disproportionately filled with inhabitants in possession of single digit IQ's.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 08:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried killing a spider with a can of cheap hairspray. Now it smokes two packs a day, joined a bowling league, wears blue eye shadow and calls itself Brenda.
←Rate | 02-08-2017 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a terminal disease, that is sexually transmitted.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 13:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would unfortunately become the Misinformation Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would become the Information Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you who don't have a significant other to spend Valentine's Day with, kindly resist the temptation to brag about it.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 18:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 11:56 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


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