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Your bumper sticker claiming, "My Chocolate Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" appears to be false. I've never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection. 
If I ever write a book it's going to be about "People who waste other people's time by reading about their nonsense" but I probably will never write one so..... never mind.
Really suffering from PMS today - Premature Monday Syndrome.
Why does the new thomas the train commercial say it's so easy to score??
thinks that physical abilty doesn't compensate for mental incompetence....
WARNING: Facebook contains traces of nuts.
a little puzzled, as to why she has eye-liner on her thigh...
Everyone's got a story. I'll sleep through yours next.
When convincing your kid to take his/her medicine, don't taste it yourself before checking the prescription info. Your kid won't understand that daddy only made himself throw up in the sink because he's allergic.
a love-ate relationship with food.
It's a myth that pets provide home security. 96% of all dog barks are false alarms, and cats instinctively side with evildoers.
I would complain more about Monday, but there is still the rest of the week to mess up everything.
I wish I liked anything as much as I hate you right now.
It should be illegal to be *required* to be up before noon.
bought some sea sickness tablets for my holiday. On the side of the box, under the list of possible side effects: 'May cause nausea' - yeah thanks for that!
that I swear for every app I block from my newsfeed on FB, three more appear. It's like a computer virus that keeps evolving just to screw with me...
Did I just say that! Or did I think it! Damn they spotted me..
If age is just a number, can I get mine unlisted?
So tired of these new gadgets and the companies trying to monopolize the programs, I am going back to my pencil and a piece of paper!!!
Making a pot of coffee so I can get ready to go out and have coffee. 