Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance - My stages of getting ready for work

   I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.

   Recent studies have shown that you are an idiot.

   Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!

   Happy "Hold my beer while I light this" Day!!!

   Whenever I am feeling down I cheer myself up by reminding myself that I do not have an outie bellybutton.

   Speaking of independence, does anyone know how many independence days does Egypt have? I have lost count.

   I'm not celebrating independence day because I still live with my parents.

   if you're poor, then you're the one doing it wrong, dude...

   Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, I'm surprised she didn't come with both arms raised....Have a Happy 4th of July!

   Dude you're doing it wrong!!! Its, I'm poor (not rich), but I'm not "selling stuff on Craigslist for $10" poor

   Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Thursday.

   Today's challenge! Walk with the parade and wave, and make people wonder who you are.

   Your day sucked, huh? I'm sure Facebook would love to hear about it.

   There is a fine line between confidence, and arrogance. I walk that line when I'm drunk, swaying from side to side.

   I'm not rich, but I'm not "selling stuff on Craigslist for $10" poor either...

   Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.

   The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.

   Commercials are like the Jehovah's Witnesses of Television.

   Time To Get Star Spangled Hammered