Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon George Michael is dead. hell. You thought 2016 couldn't get any worse and then WHAM.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 19:06 by Trevoneunitedfan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 13:40 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gold, frankinsence and myrrh. I may not be as wise as the 3 Wise Men, but I would have brought the baby Jesus a Lite Brite.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 12:33 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this day long ago, a child was born, who by age 30 would transform the world. Happy birthday Sir Isaac Newton! born December 25th 1642
←Rate | 12-25-2016 10:04 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I ran over a big fat guy in a red outfit last night.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 03:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Russian aviation and maritime hardware...both civilian and military, need a serious modernisation programme. Those nukes themselves must be rotting in those silos and probably present more of a danger to Russian lives than any enemy, real or imagined.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 03:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!
←Rate | 12-24-2016 22:42 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got lost in your eyes...but I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it
←Rate | 12-24-2016 20:57 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Christmas prank: give your mom a new iPhone then refuse to help her set it up
←Rate | 12-24-2016 10:36 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't dwell on past mistakes. I have family for that.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 08:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Evidently Cheering and doing play by play while my wife is wrapping presents wasn't the help she was looking for.
←Rate | 12-24-2016 05:24 by Richard fitzgrald Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, let's be honest. I hate shopping for bras. You would think with the growing population of aging baby boomers, they would have more of a selection in 36 long.
←Rate | 12-23-2016 20:18 by Mo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello, ABC? It's less than 40 hours until New Year's Eve...time to fill the sink with water and defrost Dick Clark.
←Rate | 12-23-2016 17:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
←Rate | 12-23-2016 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls just wanna have fun, guys just wanna have funds!
←Rate | 12-23-2016 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say I'm hard to buy for obviously don't drink or smoke weed
←Rate | 12-23-2016 13:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember ladys, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.
←Rate | 12-23-2016 08:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
←Rate | 12-22-2016 22:54 Comments (0)  



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