Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   whoever said tis better to loved and lost than never loved can scuk my ballsack...

   Iran has threatened to sue the filmmakers who made the Academy award winning movie “ARGO,” over their portrayal of Iran in the movie. What's Next? The Irish sue because "SHREK" made them look like Ogres?..... "DONKEY !!!"

   Gangsters in skinny jeans and tight tees? Where do they keep their guns, drug paraphernalia... and food stamps?

   There is nothing wrong with making the same mistake twice as long as you admit it, apologize and accept that you're stupid.

   I am terribly sorry about the inspirational p osts. My dealer gave me inspirational weed.

   Baby we complete each other. I'm the typo and you're my autocorrect.

   Here's to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one. #Happy St. Pattys Day

   The problem is the ugly ones are too confident and the good looking ones are taken.

   Women's favorite dessert is the one with a hidden engagement ring inside it.

   Let's take our relationship to the next level: the breakup.

   St. Patrick Pro Tip: Clean your toilet now!! You may be face down in it later........

   When is a good time to mention St Patrick wasn't Irish, he was the son of slave-owning Roman nobility born in England and his color wasn't green, it was blue? Not today then?

   prepared to kiss you whether you are Irish or not.

   "whoever said tis better to loved and lost than never loved can scuk my ballsack..."Yeh, you're right because I'm geting a restraining order for them... :)

   Don't worry about buying happiness. Try renting or leasing it to see if it's what you really want.

   My potatoes bring all the Irish to the yard and they're like, that famine was hard.

   Bought a new trampoline and took me 2 hrs to set it up. All the wife could say afterwards was "uhm...where's our bed?" That's gratitude for ya!

   I hold the NASCAR world record for the number of races never watched. Zero.

   I think those who wear the sagging pants should start wearing skinny jeans. At least it would be entertaining watching them trying to walk.

   There's gratification and then there's "I love not responding to you on facebook chat" gratification.