Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Why don't chicken breast have nipples?

   Get rich or die trying. If all else fails, start your own church.

   Women are NOT difficult to understand.................. They're impossible to understand.

   Your vag is like an elevator. Everyones gone up in it.

   It's freezing outside. I hear by declare January Nipple Awareness Month.

   men insult their friends but don't really mean it. Women compliment their friends but don't really mean it...

   OH NO! It is January and cold outside. Has the world gone mad?

   Women don't care about thing like how much money you make, what you drive or where you live at. Who am I kidding, even the female homeless go after the homeless guy with the most stuff..

   Golly, I'm not quite sure if it's cold outside. Could someone please post a picture of the temperature in their car? Anyone? ツ

   Im a wreck to be forcened with.

   Your Google search history is the real you.

   Dear Hockey, I do not understand you.

   Nicky Minaj is like Tang. She's dry, orange, and nobody actually likes her.

   I heard that Tom Brady isn't going to the pro bowl for an undisclosed injury. Didn't know bruised ego was a real injury.

   Remember, if you're in public and have the winter vomiting bug, be polite and vomit into your elbow.

   Life was easier and simpler when I was apart of the Sheepeople herd.

   Facebook, Helping stalkers since 2004.

   I'm exercising, eating right & watching my alcohol intake. So don't cross me...I'm sober & I'm cranky.

   I named the spider in my kitchen 'Kris Kross' because it made me jump.

   I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.