Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Proof that even chickens believe in an afterlife.

   Just put pop rocks in the kitty litter!

   One man's hoe is probably another man's hoe too.

   CORRECTION: "Who are we?" "Men!" "What do we want?" "s3x!" "When do we want it?" "24/7/365!"

   After today's news I can never look at Tickle Me Elmo the same way again.

   checking her list...lots of naughty this year!!

   I took a nap... Well, actually I was jumping on the bed and the ceiling fan knocked me unconscious,,,,,,,,,,,,,, But still

   Point.. Wink.. Shoot finger gun.. Blow smoke from tip of finger gun.. Wipe prints off finger gun.. Bury finger gun where no one can find it.

   Black ops 2 comes out tomorrow!! \(T^T)/

   BREAKING NEWS: Geologists locate mountain high enough... Valley low enough still elusive...

   Show me on this Elmo doll where the bad man touched you...

   If Elmo is a kid toucher I'd hate to think what goes on down in Oscar's trash can

   Yes, Yes, YES! Not entirely sure what a "propriate" is, but apparently I'm in it...

   Day 1. I am thankful that I haven't fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.

   Too good to work fast food when you were young? Have you noticed that you are a loser now?

   In a vicious cycle of abuse...Elmo is just mimicking his childhood abuse when Mr. Noodle forced Elmo to play with his "noodle"

   Was it really that much of a surprise? Elmo has been playing with kids while he was naked the whole time.

   I only like games where the winner gets their stomach pumped at the hospital

   I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing.

   ......Update status, nobody likes?...... -_- (1) Deletes Facebook profile (2) Move to a next country (3) Change name (4) Start new life =)