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When I win the lottery I am going to buy all the raisin cookies in the world and throw them in the trash. 
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least a thousand dollars.
I've a bottle of Champagne chilling for election night. If Romney wins I'll drink a glass. If Obama wins I'll drink the whole thing then start on whiskey....
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
The male version of "Fifty Shades of Grey" arrives this Tuesday at Midnight. They are calling it "Halo 4" !!! Countless crowds are standing in line anywhere games are sold.
Women... the more attention they get, the more options they seek.
I'd like to know what Obama or Romney propose to do about bathroom mirror profile pictures.
Who is ready to celebrate "No More Campaing" Adds on Wednesday? Ive got the beer!
Help!!!!! I just took a bunch of these blue pills because some asian dude told me today was E-R-E-C-T-I-O-N day.
Vick's career has always been dogged by bad decisions ..
In 2013 I'm going to sit back, watch the movie 2012 and laugh..
I'm predicting Obama will take an early lead tomorrow. Until all the Republicans get off work.
Heading to the polls to vote for the fifth time this week!!!!...... God I love living in the state of Florida!!!!
When I was born, the day I was brought home form the hospital my parents put up a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time 18 Years"
Wear a smile. One size fits all
It's finally here in a few hours America will finally find out the winner.............. between the pistons and the nuggets.
When I voted I wrote Abraham Lincoln in for president and Bill Clinton in for Vice President , Because 2 things this country has Too much of is vampires and ho'z !!
If you are undecided, vote for the one you would most likely buy a used car from.
If you're undecided...vote for the one that held the most babies...
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