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Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge... Its much less painful 
Some of these stupid post are more the reason why people are dumping Facebook than anything else.
Don't judge a book by its cover but you can judge a girl by the quality of her baby toe.
the perfect husband: Brave Intelligent Gentle Polite Energetic Nutty Industrious Sensitive and if all else fails, read the capitals...
looʞs lıʞǝ ɟɐɔǝqooʞ ıs ɐʇ ıʇ ɐƃɐıu˙˙˙˙˙˙
BOSS: Built On Self Success.
We were making out on the couch and She's like "Let's take this upstairs" I'm like "Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"
Ever since my cell phone fell in to the toilet, I've been getting real sh*tty reception...
Oi, FB friends, enjoy, love and relax..... love what you do and love the people around you... but always be prepared to explore and be ready for change............ dont get bored and dont be boring.......
Wow, I'm so high I can see my house from here.
i saw on the news that miami police shot a naked guy chewing on another guys face... there is no joke here. I thought that in its self was funny.
My parents should be proud of me.. Because I'm addicted to Facebook and not drugs.. (^_^)
When Zuckerberg's wife divorces him… I hope she takes the half of Facebook that has Farmville
When I'm at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend
Celine Dion, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Griffin, and Garry Busey... The four horse faces of the apocalypse
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green....
What kind of impatient psychopath leaves 1 second on a microwave.
I thought my date had big man hands... until I realized I was sitting in the wrong seat in the theater after coming back from the restroom
NEVER challenge a frog in a top hat to a dance off. Seriously.
I hate when men's restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them
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