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if a slave was born into a plantation and knew nothing of the outside world, he would not call it hopeless because it's all he knows. perhaps this propagated system of "democracy" is all you know 
Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.
I advertised on the internet for a wife, I got a 1000 emails saying "Hey you can take mine"
Don't you hate sitting in a chair after someone gets up and it feels like their a$$ must've been under a broiler?
has anyone found that satellite that suppose of hit the earth yet?
I told my wife she looked good in that dress that she would either attract attention from a man or a hungry infant.
the cops came to my house earlier, claiming that my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said "Piss off, my dog doesn't have a bike!".
My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL." :)
cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd===
How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations! But nobody rubs your balls and says good job!!!!!
was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! ! !
If your spouce and a lawyer were drowning,,, and you had to choose,,, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
Steve Jobs know what I wanted before I know I wanted it!! Mark Zuckerberg thinks he knows what I want on Facebook, so he goes out and screws it up!!! Mark Zuckerberg, you are no Steve Jobs!! You are vision-less!!
My Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll beat you with my Bulbasaur.... :p lol
Dyslexic man walks into a bra *Ba-Dum-Bum Tsss*
An apple a day keeps everyone away, if you can only throw it hard enough.
if I see someone say "smh" in a status, I automatically assume you mean "scratching my herpes"
It might not be your birthday, but you need a spanking anyway...
You are accusing me of talking about you behind your back? I am sorry; it's just that your a$$ and your face look the same to me.
Nothing like a sentence that goes nowhere.
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