gator Funny Status Messages

   If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'"

   had a wonderful day. Unfortunately, this wasn't it.

   Hey guys. Everybody. let's all give Santa a break this year.......Be naughty.

   Be nice to your laptop/smartphone today. SkyNet was supposed to become self-aware last night, April 19th 2011. If all goes well we can avoid Judgement Day tomorrow.

   bringing sexy back. after a long court battle I got full custody

   If I was the Director of NASA, I would make all of the ground crew dress up as Apes when the space shuttle Atlantis lands just to screw with them....now that would make a good movie...

   sometimes feels like a booger on the dashboard of life

   Bedtime Tip: Ring the doorbell on your way to bed at night...this will clear the dogs off your bed long enough for you to get in and get comfortable...

   Not trying to brag or make anyone jealous, but I can still fit in the same sized gloves I wore in high school...

   I hate it when TV shows say "Adult Content" but then don't show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up after the kids...

   I'm going to McDonald's for breakfast and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.