Vaterpop Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I don’t mean to brag, but a lot of people have discovered how the unfollow button on Facebook works because of me.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 20:06 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 08:46 by vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon At the end of the day the most overused phrase is at the end of the day.
←Rate | 03-25-2017 17:25 by vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll bet they're busy at Walmart today. Moving all the Clorox and Lysol to the pharmacy section.
←Rate | 04-24-2020 14:32 by Vaterpop Comments (1)  

   messageicon Well that will be the last gender reveal party I'm ever invited to. Guess I shouldn't have stood up and said, "I'll go first!"
←Rate | 08-20-2019 11:44 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon So Sarah Palin is endorsing Donald Trump. This just gets better and better doesn't it?
←Rate | 01-19-2016 19:40 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve been checking my temperature periodically every day. Did you know that it’s not necessary to do it rectally? Wish someone would’ve told me sooner!
←Rate | 03-20-2020 00:32 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Coworker: Good morning! Me: I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
←Rate | 05-20-2020 14:40 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Free to a good home. My Bill Cosby vinyl collection.
←Rate | 04-26-2018 15:41 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Worked on our taxes last night. We are getting $867 thousand dollars from federal and we owe the state $966 thousand dollars. Anyone have the number to H&R Block??
←Rate | 02-06-2020 12:22 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just think of all the things making big money during this. Netflix!, Disney+, Pornhub.
←Rate | 03-20-2020 19:05 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good news. Jesus has risen. Bad news. He will need to be quarantined for 14 days
←Rate | 04-12-2020 20:54 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Running out of ideas for entertainment. Thinking about asking the neighborhood to gather in the street 6' apart and do the Hokey Pokey. After all, that is what it's all about.
←Rate | 04-23-2020 21:50 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tony Bennett passed away. I heard he donated his organs.He left his heart to San Francisco!
←Rate | 07-21-2023 09:45 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I'll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids Bloody Mary in a Styrofoam cup with a straw.
←Rate | 07-01-2023 11:48 by Vaterpop Comments (0)  


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