Shawnee Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Almost Valentine's day. Don't worry if you've been dumped, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just kidding, the oil spill killed them all.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 17:10 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I know it was kind of wicked of me to make chocolate chip cookies when you are on a diet, but I licked them all when they came out of the oven so you wouldn't be tempted.
←Rate | 02-07-2011 19:25 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon so lazy that sometimes I just sit around staring at something I want that is across the room from the couch (okay, on the coffee table) and wish I had go-go gadget arms.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:50 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon My GPS keeps sending me through sketchy neighborhoods, but I go along, ‘cause I don't want my GPS to think I'm racist.
←Rate | 02-09-2011 23:59 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bristol Palin says she'll eventually run for political office. Americans say they'll eventually run for Canada.
←Rate | 02-09-2011 21:19 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon For the record, if my mother ever tells you she uses Oxycontin to remove stains, it's not true.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 20:46 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the older I get , the more young people look the same...That, or Justin Bieber just delivered my nespaper.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 15:20 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Working out sucks...maybe I'll just spring for liposuction and 639 muscle implants.
←Rate | 02-07-2011 20:13 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook suggested that I become a friend of that some sort of sign?
←Rate | 02-24-2011 17:49 by shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Packers had a Super Bowl celebration & as a special treat, Christina Aguilera came & messed up the words to “We Are the Champions."
←Rate | 02-09-2011 20:48 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Signs you are getting old: My friend was asked last week how she can sleep so early at night, and answered, "an eyemask." The person who asked wanted to know how an iMask worked.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 19:19 by shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon My fat friends all want to go to dinner and my skinny friends all want to go to yoga.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:52 by Shawnee Comments (0)  

   messageicon reminds you that the proper abbreviation for Sex and the City is SATC2, not Sex...Stop inviting me to go watch sex with you.
←Rate | 05-27-2010 23:48 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


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