MiMisHouse Funny Status Messages
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It's a good thing that not everyone owns a smartphone..Someone has to HONK when the light turns green.
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The probability of someone looking at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score! WooHoo!
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Hey, little regular fry in with my curly fries. Just be yourself, buddy.
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Remember children, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
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I don't always have time to Spring Clean, but when I do, I Don't!
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Stocked up on the Merlot and chocolate. Bring the 3 week corona quarantine!
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No, I didn't gain weight over the holidays....I'm just retaining Christmas cookies, that's all....
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Never put all your eggs in one basket.....unless they're chocolate.....and it's my basket
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You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas Tree by the lines of tape wrapped around the box it's stored in.
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Ah, yes...what lovely blouse shall I stain with food today?
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If you say the word "Rum-balls" without rolling the R...are you even pronouncing it correctly?
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First that idiot cut me off in traffic, then he steals my parking spot, and now his stupid car got paint on my key!
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What kind of idiot would think ingesting disinfectant would kill coronavirus? Everyone knows if you buy tons of toilet paper, you're protected from ever getting it, to begin with!
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If your grandma got run over by a reindeer, you may be entitled to compensation...Cal 1800 HURT HAHA!
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If it has yellow and black stripes, I run the other way, fast!
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