Lonagan Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Happy and in a good place this morning. Now... If only I could remember how the hell I got here!!!
←Rate | 04-01-2011 11:36 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon decided to clean house since it is raining. Now it smells of Murphy oil soap and Pine-Sol.. Instead of Sex and Candy.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 17:18 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon OMG! Maury Povich just pulled up with a camera crew.. My fathers day just got complicated.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 22:02 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just passed some guy flying a confederate flag on the back of his ragged out Honda Goldwing wearing a Jolly Rodger Helmet, with a Connecticut license plate. I laughed so hard I almost missed my turn!
←Rate | 08-06-2011 13:24 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate running out of deodorant......with 1 armpit left to go.. Now I have Sure on the left and Not so Sure on the right.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 12:19 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thunderstorm knocked out my power so to pass the time, I'm sticking sharp metal objects into the wall outlets and hoping the power doesn't come back on.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 14:33 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have had PMS for the past two days. "Parked Motorcycle Syndrome". It's a nice cool night, time for a midnight ride.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 22:23 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cicadas, Crafty LiL critters... I swear they play dead then when you turn away they fix those beady red eyes on your back and can fly just enough to land in your hair! Oh, and they have a death grip, 150 mph blower and they laugh...laugh I tell you!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 12:36 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do I always crave Chick-Fil-A on Sunday and Outback Steaks at lunch time?
←Rate | 08-05-2011 09:54 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't breath through my nose, I'm in a perpetual state of sneeze, my eyes are watery, there is something crawling on my back and up my leg!!! OMG I love Spring!!!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 09:25 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Watching the Today show. I noticed I could'nt understand what was being said. Thought It was me then I realized... That's how Willard Scott talks now.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:30 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do the media cover “Dancing with the Stars” like it's news?.... I think they do it for the same people that can not manage to operate a self check out isle! Which, I'm afraid is like 80% if he US population! God Help Us!!!!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:02 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sesame street announced this week that Bert and Ernie are not Gay. I knew that already, They have no sense of style and haven't changed their outfits in 25 years. They are just dirty old men like me.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 17:06 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon don't feed me any BS. I don't eat that part of the cow.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 17:36 by Lonagan Comments (0)  

   messageicon It seems like nothing really changes. Yet when you look back, everything is different. I must have blacked out again.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 07:56 by Lonagan Comments (0)  


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