Joshman Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There is no good way to tell your spouse you want to go on "Wife Swap".
←Rate | 02-21-2011 20:00 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon 65 days until The Royal Wedding. I can't wait. Seeing that family gathered together always makes me feel really good about my dental plan.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 12:04 by Joshman Comments (1)  

   messageicon I just went downstairs and my roommate is watching American Idol. I am not saying the show is bad or anything, but sometimes I think it would be fun to be in the audience with a toilet plunger and a crossbow.
←Rate | 03-25-2011 18:52 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pageant officials want to fire Miss San Antonio for gaining weight. Apparently, the poor girl ballooned all the way up to a size zero.
←Rate | 02-09-2011 20:02 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dancing with the Stars 2011: The last time I saw the names of these "stars" was when I last played the Trivial Pursuit "Nobody Gives a Crap" Edition.
←Rate | 03-24-2011 19:05 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sarah Palin has filed to have her name trademarked and will eventually become Sarah Palin ®. That is, unless she quits halfway through the paperwork.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 14:47 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just lost my self respect at the Golden Corral.
←Rate | 11-07-2010 19:29 by Joshman Comments (2)  

   messageicon A buffet is where you find out what kind of person you really are.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:55 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Take on Glee: So it's people singing, dancing, and having sex, all with a guy in a wheelchair watching. Kinda like an orgy at Larry Flynt's house.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 19:31 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Over the weekend, Dallas gave Michael Vick the key to the city. What's next for Vick -- an award from PETA?
←Rate | 02-10-2011 16:22 by Joshman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would love to become Facebook friends with a hooker because I bet the status updates would be very interesting if they were honest, like, "Lindsey just made $300 in 15 minutes."
←Rate | 03-07-2011 18:02 by Joshman Comments (0)  


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