DP Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet
←Rate | 05-16-2017 09:51 by Dp Comments (1)  

   messageicon Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 11:03 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife accused me of being immature, I told her to get out of my fort
←Rate | 05-14-2017 07:35 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon Curosity killed the cat, but I was suspect for a while
←Rate | 04-01-2017 05:34 by DP Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to hear 99 people sing 'Africa' by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.
←Rate | 06-13-2020 15:12 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
←Rate | 07-29-2009 16:21 by DP Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once I would like to cross my I's and dot my T's
←Rate | 04-26-2018 09:29 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't be the only one who hasn't seen a Taylor Swift video
←Rate | 09-01-2017 04:48 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bacon is loaded with sodium, nitrates, grease and animal fat...... Breakfast
←Rate | 03-03-2018 13:08 by Dp Comments (1)  

   messageicon If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a few payments
←Rate | 06-27-2017 09:33 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been eating Cheerios for years and never once have I felt like dancing before, during or after eating them
←Rate | 03-15-2017 15:11 by DP Comments (0)  

   messageicon The earliest bird gets the worm, and the second mouse gets the cheese
←Rate | 05-19-2017 16:37 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon my mind used to be like a steel trap, now it's like the cart you get at the store with the bad wheel
←Rate | 12-24-2017 09:58 by Dp Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only way I'll watch Jerry McGuire is if you show me the money
←Rate | 12-01-2018 17:42 by Dp Comments (1)  

   messageicon My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, 'Is this a joke?
←Rate | 03-12-2018 08:52 by Dp Comments (2)  

   messageicon If you're pausing for dramatic effect.... just keep it going
←Rate | 05-11-2018 07:50 by Dp Comments (0)  


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