g0re Funny Status Messages

   Thank god Facebook is back up. I've had to phone 247 of my friends to tell them 'I hate work, I'm having a glass of water and going to bed, lol'. It's taken me all night!

   If they shut down facebook, people would be roaming the streets in tears , shoving pictures of themselves in other people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!".

   I HATE the commercials that try to connect their product to a virtue of life, such as "Mayo....because everyone appreciates being with family." I could be with my family without Mayo, thanks

   It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity

   There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$

   I would love to hear more music that is not about sex or even love, because there is other stuff in life.

   It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.

   Welcome to High School. Pick 2- Good Grades, Enough Sleep, or a Social Life

   When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade.

   Wouldn't it stink if there were thousands of other planets that had life, and we on Earth were the ONLY ones who didn't know? And we were the butt of aliens' jokes, i.e. "You're stupid as an Earthling."

   If whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, then the life of someone who lives there must become a void once they leave town.

   It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved.

   Life is all about ass, everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one :)

   The girls at Hooters may be hot, but when it comes down to it, the girls at Subway are the real wife material.

   Since Congress declared that pizza is a vegetable you wouldn't be surprised if they made mayonnaise an instrument

   How come we always hear about what's happening on Wall Street and Main Street. What about what's happening on Sesame Street? People live in trash cans there.

   Nobody likes whorish olive oil.

   It's frustrating when you know exactly what something means but not how to explain it

   If Winnie the Pooh and his gang were a group of gangstas I think it would be safe to say that at one time or another Tigger would say something stupid and Pooh would respond with, "Tigga' Please!"

   Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection