Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon At what age do you stop needing deodorants and start smelling like mothballs? (Asking for a friend.)
←Rate | 02-29-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm giving up organized religion for Lent.
←Rate | 02-26-2020 07:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of surf and turf is salt water taffy served on Easter grass.
←Rate | 02-24-2020 19:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, milking the cows, slopping the hogs, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn't mind driving a tractor around.
←Rate | 02-24-2020 06:06 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My goal for the remainder of the first half of 2020 is to get roughly 30 lbs lighter than the weight I lied about on my drivers license.
←Rate | 02-22-2020 09:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will soon come a day when the only thing we'll use modern technology for is to reminisce about how good things were before modern technology.
←Rate | 02-19-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.
←Rate | 02-17-2020 08:01 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters is not closing per se. It's going strictly delivery. It's changing its name to "Knockers"...
←Rate | 02-15-2020 23:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people in 1920 probably thought in 2020 we would have our own space ships and robots... but no. So far we've come up with two-sided tape and rubber bands shaped like animals.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 20:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."
←Rate | 02-03-2020 06:37 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Folks who cheat on their taxes distress me greatly. This is NOT the world in which I want to raise my 26 dependents.
←Rate | 02-02-2020 16:40 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in 11th grade, a guy bugged me about his getting 10 times more girls than I got. I didn't care since 10x0 was still 0.
←Rate | 02-01-2020 05:32 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I ain't bragging, but pretty much every pot I've ever watched has boiled.
←Rate | 01-27-2020 08:00 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon No disrespect to the Vatican, but the actual first Sunday in Ordinary Time is the first Sunday after the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2020 20:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to confession last week. Things in my life have apparently gotten way out of hand, and I mean WAY out. For my penance, the priest gave me 3 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers and a Crucifixion.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 15:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you really think about it, "F**k You" is a compliment.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 07:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish all women online were in 3D. That's my apartment #. 3D
←Rate | 01-20-2020 12:22 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was yelled at by a Delta flight attendant for asking if I could change my seat away from a crying baby. Okay so the crying baby was mine.
←Rate | 01-18-2020 21:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guilt is simply God's way of letting us know that we're having a real good time.
←Rate | 01-18-2020 21:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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