HiYourJon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Press 1 for English. Press 2 For Spanish. Press 1 or 2 for Indian.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 15:17 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. "Sir, those are Band-Aids." Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.
←Rate | 09-01-2013 12:02 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon there an STD named 'Miley Virus' yet?
←Rate | 09-02-2013 12:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon This guy just told me that I was anti-social. Or at least that’s what I think he said, I wasn’t paying attention.
←Rate | 09-02-2013 21:53 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama banned from Call of Duty for using unlimited drone strikes cheat. Biden’s in the corner with a SNES controller making airplane sounds.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 23:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is like Grand Theft Auto V except I drive a Subaru Outback and the cops wave at me
←Rate | 09-20-2013 23:02 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reads all the pro/anti Obamacare posts. Makes jerk-off motion. Sprains wrist. Files insurance claim.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 10:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would canada discontinue pennies?? That country doesnt make cents
←Rate | 09-27-2013 10:05 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Google's 15th birthday today. Typical fifteen year old. It's got an answer for everything.
←Rate | 09-27-2013 11:21 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pumped for the series finale of the U.S. government!
←Rate | 09-29-2013 18:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No, officer." The cop removes his shades and looks to the horizon with teary eyes. "Neither do I."
←Rate | 10-01-2013 13:09 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life gives you melons you have dyslexia
←Rate | 10-02-2013 18:03 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bravo to the Capitol police. Atleast someone in Washington is doing their job!!
←Rate | 10-03-2013 17:31 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a report that said 86% of holy water tested had fecal matter in it. Holy shít!!
←Rate | 10-03-2013 23:34 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was voted 'Most Paranoid' by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
←Rate | 10-06-2013 10:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Voting is like pressing the walk button at an intersection. It doesn't change anything, but if you wait long enough you'll get the white guy
←Rate | 10-18-2013 00:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 15:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the snooze button has died. His funeral will take place tomorrow at 6:00, 6:09, 6:18, 6:27, and 6:36.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 20:23 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It feels like Robert De Niro just walks onto random film sets and says "I'm in this now."
←Rate | 11-08-2013 22:16 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I always try to go the extra mile for my customers." - new york's most hated cab driver
←Rate | 11-12-2013 00:02 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  




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