g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If you and your gf/bf traded phones for one day, would you still be together when the day was over?
←Rate | 12-09-2011 03:24 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are you sending this chain mail to me? I'm dead from the last one you sent.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 23:18 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It must've been tough being a magician in the 15th century. "Is this your card?" "Burn him! Burn the witch!!".
←Rate | 10-22-2011 16:29 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you watch too much porn when you go to a hospital expecting a threesome.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 19:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon FLOWERS: $50....DINNER: $75....HOTEL: $199....the look on his face when she tells him, "I'm on my period": PRICELESS.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:05 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's nice when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 22:46 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Blood is thicker then water, but maple syrup is thicker then blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family
←Rate | 11-12-2011 20:28 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet you're naked under those clothes... You slut
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa is an unfair a$shole, He gives the more expensive gifts to the wealthier kids!
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:28 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon That akward moment when you don't really like your crush. You like the imaginary version of them which you created in your head.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 04:30 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you hate the uncomfortable feeling when you have a really bad cold and one nostril is stuffed up to no avail and the other nostril is so perfectly clear that when you breath in it feels like all the cool air goes straight to your brain.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:11 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon When it's the only thing standing between you and your comfortable bed, brushing your teeth seems like a huge hassle.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 03:15 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Awesome idea: On Halloween, order a pizza to get delivered to your house When the delivery guy gets there, pretend you think he's a trick or treater and comment on how he looks like a real delivery person. Give him candy.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 15:47 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 19:40 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when your girlfriend asks you to hold her handbag, and it doesn't match what you're wearing.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:20 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever came up with the term "one tough cookie" had no idea about the structural integrity of baked goods.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:56 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Last night I jerked off so good that when I woke up my D!ck was in the kitchen making breakfast
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:16 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you were little it was "Stop, look, and listen before you cross the street." As you get older it's more like "I'm crossing the street now. If you hit me I will sue you."
←Rate | 12-07-2011 04:20 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet. Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but never could be together.
←Rate | 11-30-2011 23:08 by g0re Comments (0)  

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