HiYourJon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "good goin' there einstein" "yeah way to go, einstein!" "nice move, einstein!" - the Einstein family reunion annual softball game
←Rate | 05-23-2013 15:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shooting pool and darts are just sports for alcoholics.
←Rate | 05-23-2013 00:57 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Microsoft really can't count. Windows 95, 98, 2000, 7. Xbox, Xbox 360, Xbox 1.
←Rate | 05-23-2013 00:05 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a stunning display of maturity, Kid Rock announces he is changing his name to Adult Contemporary.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 15:25 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, "Which one is yours?" Say, "I haven’t picked one out yet!" It's worth it.
←Rate | 05-19-2013 11:54 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. who has hair on their shoulders. whos shampooing their shoulder hair. please come forward
←Rate | 05-19-2013 11:45 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Pro tip: "Hold my drink" is not a proper response to "License and registration, please." ...... apparently.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 22:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 19:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two rules for success.. 1. Never reveal everything you know
←Rate | 05-13-2013 23:51 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like Batman didn't even care about crime in the cities surrounding Gotham.
←Rate | 05-12-2013 21:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale from 1 to dyslexic, how 10 am I?
←Rate | 05-12-2013 21:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby.
←Rate | 05-11-2013 20:57 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A frat house installs a retractible ceiling. “We just can't get enough Natural Light,” says its president. They hi-five for 6 straight hours
←Rate | 05-10-2013 02:31 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Tom Cruise isn’t gay and is just a really good actor.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 01:28 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your at your friends house steal his remote control. Every so often drive by his house and change the channell on his TV.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 20:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite hobby is to add my neighbors' wireless printer to my PC and print a document that says I'M INSIDE YOUR HOUSE AND COMING FOR YOU.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 20:50 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your at McDonald’s, point at the menu & say you’ll have a McSpaghetti w/ garlic bread. The look on cashiers face will be priceless
←Rate | 05-09-2013 18:13 by HiYourJon Comments (2)  


   messageicon People are like snowflakes. I only like them on Christmas.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put the "semen" in "amusement park". And that is why I am no longer welcome at Six Flags.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no beer. And without beer, I'll kill you all.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:41 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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