HiYourJon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They've obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
←Rate | 08-08-2013 05:53 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn girl are you a firework because I only see you like 3 times a year & your very pretty & I’m scared to get closer to you.
←Rate | 08-09-2013 22:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn babe are you Obama’s birth certificate because my mom doesn't believe you exist
←Rate | 08-09-2013 22:42 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife finally agreed to have a 3 way with me. Her and her divorce lawyer fùcked over me really good.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 00:11 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joe Biden walks nervously into the grocery store by himself for the first time. He asks the clerk, "where are the snowman noses?"
←Rate | 08-10-2013 22:47 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you're Chinese? "Japanese" Sorry..& what a cute litte girl.. "Boy" Oh a boy. Of course.. And I like your pet croc.. "Alligator" I should go..
←Rate | 08-12-2013 21:32 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon it OK if I abbreviate Oklahoma?
←Rate | 08-14-2013 13:32 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The second I named my hangover "dad" it went away
←Rate | 08-15-2013 09:19 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon " I feel like a million bucks." -Billionaire having a crappy day.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only here for the alibi.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one door closes, another one opens. Then you're inside Walmart.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:54 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
←Rate | 08-15-2013 23:02 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 00:20 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cut soda from your diet, you'll save over $1000 a year and could spend money on more important things, like beer, meth, and skittles.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 16:00 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Nike Fitness App, I've watched TV on my couch for 7 miles this week.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 16:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the plot of Breaking Amish isn’t an Amish guy with cancer who sells light bulbs to pay his medical bills then you can count me out.
←Rate | 08-19-2013 20:42 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was The Bachelor we'd all play Mario Kart for 8 weeks, then I'd pick the one with the biggest boobs
←Rate | 08-28-2013 08:35 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:00 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you missed the MTV awards, you can see it again by throwing yourself down a flight of stairs while chewing a light bulb.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 13:49 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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