SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'SuthernFukr': View All Messages
Page: 72 of 80
Dear Curiosity, Just put the gun down and let's talk this out. Sincerely, The Cat.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Wife: My gynocolagist says I can't have sex for two weeks. Husband: What did your dentist say?
An omelet made terribly, is, at its worst, very good scrambled eggs.
I've been trying to throw away this trash can for the past 2 months & the garbage men just keep leaving it on the sidewalk.
Midwife - People helping people get people out of people.
"When the hell did I say all that?" -Simon
During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
"Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome." - Pew Pew Pew Research Center
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
It's not really such an "Easy-Bake" oven when you're trying to cook a pot roast. This is taking *forever*.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.
"Dr. Oz" sounds like the guy you'd buy shrooms from in community college.
For the life of me, I can't understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Build a barricade?! Crap, I thought you said build a bear arcade. Those bears are gonna be pissed when I tell them no more Cruis'n USA.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Things to do: 1) Dig a hole 2) Name it love 3) Watch people fall in love.
It's important to let go of your dreams if you want to make room for more brownies.
I think everything my children have said for the past 48 hours has been in the form of a question. I'm living in Alex Trebek's nightmare.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]