Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I have a sore throat, a headache and a dry cough. We all know what that means. I'm never buying weed from Alowishus Jackson again.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I made the last of the dishes on the Huffington Post list of "25 Foods You Have To Eat Before You Die." So I guess this is goodbye.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 07:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't watched this much TV since the "All Day Saturday Cartoon Marathon" when I was 8.
←Rate | 03-31-2020 19:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good morning. Okay so money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy bacon. Close enough.
←Rate | 05-08-2020 10:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.
←Rate | 05-11-2020 13:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm into body building. When you consider that the body I built is a rotunda.
←Rate | 06-07-2020 13:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "I'll have a large coffee, no cream." Coffee guy: "We ain't got no cream, hows about with no milk?"
←Rate | 06-17-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are like bees. They bring honey, but they also sting. 🐝
←Rate | 06-20-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joey Chestnut set another world record for eating the most hot dogs in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Tomorrow, he'll win the record for the biggest dump.
←Rate | 07-04-2020 16:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to know how much someone's opinion is worth, try paying your bills with them.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrote a song called, "For Crying Out Loud, It's Cold Outside!" It's about me and my wife arguing over the thermostat setting.
←Rate | 12-24-2019 05:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Day After Christmas Menu: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna. Lunch: Leftover lasagna. Dinner: Leftover lasagna. Dessert: Leftover lasagna. Beverage: Lasagna shake.
←Rate | 12-25-2019 20:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm saying this before the 12th day of Christmas even arrives. I'm keeping the 8 maids a milking and the 9 ladies dancing. That's it Everything else is going back to Walmart.
←Rate | 12-23-2019 01:05 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm incredulous over the fact that changing the name and picture on a pancake box has yet to result in racial unity.
←Rate | 07-30-2021 05:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I am the way, the truth and the lasagna." - Cheeses of Nazareth
←Rate | 12-11-2019 05:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kamala has had more politicians in her than the White House, the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial combined.
←Rate | 02-02-2021 08:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 16:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anne, I had to quit my profession as a gynecologist. I got tunnel vision.
←Rate | 03-26-2021 11:49 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa: I can't wait for the cookies I'm gonna get in Colorado.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 16:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If gas prices continue to rise, I'll have no choice but to purchase a windmill to power it.
←Rate | 03-08-2021 20:00 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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