Fazzy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q. What's in the toilet of the USS Enterprise? A. The Captain's log.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 08:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
←Rate | 06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretending that looters, rioters, assaulters and arsonists are "peaceful protesters" does not make you look like a sympathizer. It makes you look like an id!ot..
←Rate | 06-02-2020 06:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon If someone can explain to me how stealing and destroying is a panacea for easing racial tensions, I'm all ears.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 09:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Monday is Memorial Day. I plan on showing my grandsons how to eat corn on the cob typewriter style. The hard part is going to be explaining a typewriter. 🌽
←Rate | 05-20-2020 07:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.
←Rate | 05-11-2020 13:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good morning. Okay so money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy bacon. Close enough.
←Rate | 05-08-2020 10:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I randomly changed all the contact names in my phone. However, I can't remember who they actually are. So far today, I've been texted by Willy Wonka, Spongebob Squarepants, Charlie Sheen, Nancy Pelosi and Jerry Springer.
←Rate | 05-08-2020 09:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know that people want to go back to work because they're broke, but there's still a serious virus floating around. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that being broke is better than being dead.
←Rate | 04-29-2020 11:53 by Fazzy Comments (1)  

   messageicon North Korea leader Kim Jong-un is presumed either dead or in a vegetative state. Most likely Bok Choy.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 15:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're traveling thru another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of dough, ricotta and mozzarella. Your next stop, the Twilight Calzone.
←Rate | 04-23-2020 08:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Nothing like a game of Twister, that's our motto." - Makers of IcyHot
←Rate | 04-22-2020 18:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon They should change the name of our galaxy from the Milky Way to the Snickers. Let's face it, we're all nuts.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 13:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon In celebration of Earth Day, I'm just gonna go outside and stare at the ground for a while.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 06:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't find any masks, gloves, or hand sanitizers. Long story short, I just now paid for the premium version of McAfee antivirus. Let's what happens.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon This isolation thing is going to make Palm Sunday mean something completely different to a lot of people.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I haven't watched this much TV since the "All Day Saturday Cartoon Marathon" when I was 8.
←Rate | 03-31-2020 19:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Coronavirus has me upset to the point where I've lost weight... 20 lbs total! I have no appetite whatsoever so this thing needs to go away. But not just yet. I want to lose another 30.
←Rate | 03-30-2020 21:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

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