SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Haven't seen David Blaine in a long time. I'd say it's his best trick ever.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 12:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 09:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 10:00 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gadaffi has been killed but unfortunately the 14 other spellings of his name remain at large.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 10:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just heard a woodpecker call me a 'paranoid old weirdo' in morse code.
←Rate | 08-26-2012 12:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to find a missing person, put their pictures on cigarettes. Smokers are the only ones standing outside in all kinds of weather.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cashiers are always checking me out.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 09:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how the package for cotton swabs says don't put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 13:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it just me or do those red foil wrapped Hershey's kisses taste almost identical to the silver foil Hershey's kisses? I'll keep testing.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 13:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs..."Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"
←Rate | 02-08-2012 11:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally hit a deer! Okay it wasn't a deer, it was a Smart car with fake antlers on it... and it wasn't an accident.
←Rate | 12-05-2011 19:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to sh!t yourself when you see everything else going on in the world.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
←Rate | 09-08-2011 10:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has that kid in the Dreamworks logo even caught a single fish yet?
←Rate | 11-20-2011 09:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, let's stop saying “Happy New Year” to everyone. It's January 7th and it's just awkward.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 08:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only person I'd ever take love advice from is that French candlestick from Beauty and the Beast.
←Rate | 02-08-2012 10:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who Is Paul McCartney? You see kids, before PC's & Auto-tune, there were these mythical creatures who could sing/play/write songs themselves!
←Rate | 02-14-2012 10:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn't listening to begin with.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 21:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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