Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Upside: I had a dream that NASCAR teamed up with NASA and came up with a flying car. Downside: It only made left turns.
←Rate | 02-18-2021 17:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm saying this before the 12th day of Christmas even arrives. I'm keeping the 8 maids a milking and the 9 ladies dancing. That's it Everything else is going back to Walmart.
←Rate | 12-23-2019 01:05 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce Log 2006: My ex had her credit card stolen, but I didn't report it. The person who stole it used it less than she did.
←Rate | 12-31-2019 06:05 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The art of thinking can be a likened to a wonderful journey... as long as you begin it with a full tank of gas.
←Rate | 01-16-2020 06:58 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish all women online were in 3D. That's my apartment #. 3D
←Rate | 01-20-2020 12:22 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My goal for the remainder of the first half of 2020 is to get roughly 30 lbs lighter than the weight I lied about on my drivers license.
←Rate | 02-22-2020 09:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon At what age do you stop needing deodorants and start smelling like mothballs? (Asking for a friend.)
←Rate | 02-29-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time arrives tomorrow. Gimme a break. Know what? I give it 8 months.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 06:26 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Virus or no virus, cruises hold no appeal for me. It's akin to a 5 star house arrest that's centered around overeating, which I can do quite well in the comfort of my own home.
←Rate | 03-08-2020 10:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I made the last of the dishes on the Huffington Post list of "25 Foods You Have To Eat Before You Die." So I guess this is goodbye.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 07:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joey Chestnut set another world record for eating the most hot dogs in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Tomorrow, he'll win the record for the biggest dump.
←Rate | 07-04-2020 16:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I am the way, the truth and the lasagna." - Cheeses of Nazareth
←Rate | 12-11-2019 05:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 16:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kamala has had more politicians in her than the White House, the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial combined.
←Rate | 02-02-2021 08:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anne, I had to quit my profession as a gynecologist. I got tunnel vision.
←Rate | 03-26-2021 11:49 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa: I can't wait for the cookies I'm gonna get in Colorado.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 16:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If gas prices continue to rise, I'll have no choice but to purchase a windmill to power it.
←Rate | 03-08-2021 20:00 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The human mind and spirit seek answers revealed in truth, yet ultimately find little more than contradictions, falsehoods and lies.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 20:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no way I'm ever eating Thanksgiving leftovers again straight out of the fridge. Yes, that's right. I quit cold turkey.
←Rate | 11-27-2020 09:23 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I ain't bragging, but pretty much every pot I've ever watched has boiled.
←Rate | 01-27-2020 08:00 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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