Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6298 of 6371
What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common, By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have is a Hot Stinky Box to throw your bone in.
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10-15-2009 19:39
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in the balloon. It was supposed to be a secret mission.
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10-15-2009 18:26
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certaintly.. not in a balloon at this moment
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10-15-2009 16:58
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Some call it Murder....I call it Annulment by Vacation on a Cruise ship......
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10-15-2009 15:43 by Daniel S
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my blond sister jus texted me and asked what does "idk" stand for? I said I dont know. she said OMG! nobody does!
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10-15-2009 14:05 by sellers82
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the coolest thing to hit the street since ice
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10-15-2009 13:37
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wishes I could measure how much of my life has passed me by while I played with my iPhone. . . Maybe there's an app for that.
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10-15-2009 13:20
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wonders why people think squirrels are cute. They are after all, a rodent like a rat except they have a fuzzy tale.
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10-15-2009 13:12
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Due to an increasing number of terrified friends, I'm going to have to change my profile picture !!!
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10-15-2009 11:50 by Marjan
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loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.
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10-15-2009 08:27 by Mike
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thinks it's unbelievable how pretentious some cat owners are. I could never be like that with my Dostoevsky!
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10-15-2009 07:06 by deithy
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has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!
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10-15-2009 07:04 by deithy
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not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am...
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
thinks scare-crows should get Nobel prizes because they are out standing in their field
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10-15-2009 04:05
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likes to fill up the bath, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's jus been hit.
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10-15-2009 04:03
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What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?.....The cold shoulder.
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10-15-2009 04:03
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sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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10-15-2009 04:01
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