Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6297 of 6370
wishes I could measure how much of my life has passed me by while I played with my iPhone. . . Maybe there's an app for that.
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10-15-2009 13:20
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wonders why people think squirrels are cute. They are after all, a rodent like a rat except they have a fuzzy tale.
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10-15-2009 13:12
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Due to an increasing number of terrified friends, I'm going to have to change my profile picture !!!
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10-15-2009 11:50 by Marjan
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loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.
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10-15-2009 08:27 by Mike
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thinks it's unbelievable how pretentious some cat owners are. I could never be like that with my Dostoevsky!
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10-15-2009 07:06 by deithy
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has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!
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10-15-2009 07:04 by deithy
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not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am...
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
thinks scare-crows should get Nobel prizes because they are out standing in their field
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10-15-2009 04:05
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likes to fill up the bath, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's jus been hit.
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10-15-2009 04:03
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What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?.....The cold shoulder.
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10-15-2009 04:03
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sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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10-15-2009 04:01
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breaking up with his flirtatious imaginary girlfriend in hope that his seductive mythological lover could become more allegorical....
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10-15-2009 01:43 by gavdun
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I'm so old. I remember when "flash memory" meant "ability to recall guys in raincoats showing their naughty bits." Those were simpler times for sure!
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10-15-2009 00:42
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divorcing her liver and requesting alimony.
To boost sales,I think fast food chains should add an adult toy to there value menu.
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10-14-2009 23:49
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loves knowing she isnt the only one facebooking it up all alone when the rest of the world is cuddling it up.
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10-14-2009 23:04
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I am fixing to pull out your voodoo doll. I suggest you brace yourself...
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10-14-2009 22:49
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